May 27, 2006

Duck...Duck...(Oh Shoot!)

I don't often consider my life buzzworthy for personal stories, but I must make an exception for this one. I have worked lawn maintenance for 6 summers now, but no experience quite compares to this one.

My crew was at the mall for the day to mow, trim, blow, pull weeds, and pick up 9 billion cigarette butts (which reproduce faster than an asexual insect). I was in the middle of a juniper bed, doing my best to weed-out wiregrass and the like. The juniper was almost knee-high. It was such a mundane activity that i didn't give it any second thought. Generally speaking, I am pretty aware of my surroundings. This time would prove to be an exception however. I was walking in the middle of the bed making my way to the far side, when as I stepped and reached for a weed, a UFO (denotatively, an "unidentified flying object") came from the juniper. A frighented moan ensued. (I'm not exactly sure how to describe the noise which proceeded from my mouth. I'm glad it was a sound and not a word...)

This "thing", coming from my feet, swiftly made its way towards my face, giving me no time to respond. As it flew up, it "billed" my arm, almost breaking the skin. As you may have figured out by now, it was a bird. Its size would have warranted both my arms to carry it. (about 7 pounds) As I gathered myself, I eyed the bird until it was out of striking range. As I looked down to where I had stepped, I noticed a nest with 4 whole eggs and 2 cracked ones. For you einsteins out there, yes! I stepped on two of the eggs. As the bird made its way across the parking lot, I realized it was a duck or goose of some sort. I was glad the goose either didn't have teeth or didn't decide to use them. It was quite adventurous to say the least. I will definitely think twice before jumping in a juniper again! Also, playing Duck, Duck, Goose now has more meaning than ever!